Moment #1

I have had such amazing feedback from my first blog and just wanted to say that I am blessed.  No matter where my life goes I am blessed.

Before I share one of the moments that made me want to start this blog I would like to clarify.  These are not the only "awe" moments I have had in my life, but these are the moments that I feel cannot be brushed aside, that are demanding to be shared.

I left my first post with the decision to wait.  After the decision had been made I went into a form of mourning.  I felt like God was telling me I needed to come to terms with the idea that I might not ever have biological children, and I mourned that loss.  I found myself crying at work (my poor co-workers!), crying at home (my poor husband!), and feeling like this was something I could no longer handle.  It got worse when some hope of pregnancy blossomed but was soon proven false.  I found myself praying for just help over and over and then God sent some.

Moment #1:
No one knew about our decisions.  We hadn't told any friends or family yet.  We were tired of talking about it and sure others were tired of hearing about it.  We didn't want to deal with people struggling to give us comfort when that wasn't possible for them to give anyway.  I felt forgotten by God.  On a Sunday night about a month ago I was praying through tears for simply help; help to function, help to not let this desire replace my desire for Christ, just help.  That week God sent some.

On the way to work that morning Steve (this is not my husband's real name but this is what he asked to go by....most of you reading this know his name but also know he is a freak! ha!) and I received a text message from a friend saying he woke up that morning with us on his mind (1).  He wanted us to know he was praying for us and would continue to pray for us in our journey to become parents.  A day or so later I got an email from a friend saying she woke up in the middle of the night with the two of us on her heart (2).  She asked if everything was okay and said she was praying for us.  That same week "Steve" got a phone call from an acquaintance in Dallas who manages some of our finances (3).  This guy knew a little of our story but was not someone we had really shared with.  However, he proceeds to ask my husband about our situation and tells him they have been fasting and praying for us on Wednesday nights.  That week we also got a letter from some close friends who could sympathize with our story (4).  They said they were praying for us and knew our heartache.

None of these people knew what we were going through at the time.  Yes many of them knew we were struggling, but no one knew the decision we had made and how I was handling that decision.  They did know that God put us on their hearts for a reason and our amazing and obedient friends shared that with us.

God's message was clear.  We have not been forgotten.  He hears our prayers and feels our heartache.  He has not forgotten us.  We are a part of a bigger plan.  He has not forgotten us.  He needs us to wait patiently for His plan to unfold.  We have not been forgotten.